Jhb Charous

  1. Will spend half their salary going back & forth to Dbn.
  2. Will invest big bucks on trout tackle & fish in the dams there, just
    to get the same feeling of fishing in the Dbn surf.
  3. Will go to some Waterfront joint or Casino & spend megabucks just to
    get the same excitement & thrill of going to the Lugs in Dbn.
  4. Will travel to work, but will get stuck in traffic for half the
    morning & afternoon – which would explain the shortened hours of work
    for all Jhb employees: Traffic!
  5. Will secretly hide a thunee pack @ a party in case the other hotshots
    find them out – will pull it out later though.
  6. Won’t get involved in “speeches” as they will be pulverized by the
  7. Can’t go to nightclubs there as there is no “Charo`s jol” – besides
    there’s risk involved : see point above
  8. Will come & buy a whole ton masala & spices in Dbn, only to go out to
    restaurants & eat fast foods every night in Jhb. May use these spices to
    butt lick the boss though.
  9. Jhb Charo’s secretly wish there were more charo`s in Jhb.

Durban Charous

  1. Will offer you ‘one glass Mindrel’ and then put three blocks of ice
    in it so that they save more.
  2. Will find a way to shove fourteen people into a Ford Bantam bakkie
    for a lift club to save on fuel costs.
  3. Will use a 30cm chain around the Mango tree to tie up their
    ‘thorough-bred’ mongrel.
  4. Will go to a restaurant and ask the waiter to check for bones and
    leftovers in the kitchen for their dogs.
  5. And then give R200-00, telling the waiter that the change is for him
    when their bill was R196.80.
  6. When the wedding invitation reads’….and family’ only Indian people
    will bring grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, brothers,
    sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and neighbours.
  7. Refer to neighbours above them as ‘kitchen-door-neighbour’
  8. Refer to members of family as cousin-brother, small-father, tha-tha,
  9. Have separate birth names and calling names e.g. birth names such as
    Vanitha (calling name “Van”) Jaggernathie (calling name
    “Juggie”),Mageshentheran (calling name “Mags”), and who can forget
    Suduvasindiren(calling name “Bobbie”).
  10. Go to the Pavilion in a neat pair of Diesel glasses, tidy Soviet
    shirt, but the Diesel jeans ‘got one beeg facecloth’ hanging out the
  11. Go to the Gateway Mall in order to window-shop. Sorry but buying 99c
    ice cream from McDonalds does not count.
  12. Always take ‘one pack Thunie cards’ to work/ party/ school/ etc.
  13. Indulge in that ‘wet-look’ but have to use “Umla oil” to do so.
  14. Go to any bar and always order a double brandy and coke with ‘one
    block hice’.
  15. Women can take three-quarters of their husband’s pension money and
    bust it on ‘one beeg trip to Hindia and all’ for the holidays.
  16. Will work feverishly hard at getting through varsity, suck the
    boss’s ass so hard that you can only see their ankles in order to get
    that R200,000-00 per annum job, and then buy a brand new Bee-em with a
    monthly instalment that is half their salary. And all this hard work is
    just so that they can cruise ‘the Lugs’ on the weekend.
  17. Will go all the way to the Wild Coast to sit on the beach and eat
    Breyani (which was made by the granny at 1am that morning, and brought
    all the way there in a 100-litre pot).
  18. Will reason that their swollen eye was caused by a “Speech” in the
    club on Saturday night. Now we’ve heard of painful speeches, but this is
  19. Always start this same “Speech” with the phrase, “Hold me back, hold
    me back”.
  20. Grown Indian men can take their family for a drive on a Sunday
    afternoon, with their mothers sitting in the front and their irate wives
    in the back seat of the car.
    21.Will buy ‘one Jetta VR6 like in “Fast and Furious” with Lanzar Vibe
    sound, 17 inch TSW mag wheels, tinted windows’ all while staying in a
    one bedroom outbuilding in Chatsworth .