As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!”

“Well,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!” 

Older man to young woman: “I’d like you for my wife”

Young woman to older man: “What would your wife want with me?” 

Mr. Jones patted his daughter’s hand fondly and told her, “Your young man told me today he wanted you as his bride, and I gave my consent.”

Oh, Papa,” gushed the daughter, “it’s going to be so hard leaving mother.”

“I understand perfectly, my dear,” said Mr. Jones. “You know — why don’t you just take her with you?”